


Happy Accidents

by worrisomeme



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Barebacking, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Meet-Cute, Oral Sex, Plus-Size Reader, Reader-Insert, Vaginal Fingering, i have no idea how to tag smut guys, is it still called that if it's hetero sex?, someone correct me if there's another term for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-11-10 11:09:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11125839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worrisomeme/pseuds/worrisomeme
Summary: You’re barreling down the street after a long day at work. Music blares from your windows as you sing and dance along, trying to relieve some of the stress built up in your muscles. And it’s working, kinda. You turn down the street and your brow furrows in curiosity at what you see. There’s a moving van parked outside of the house next to yours and an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Huh, you think. So it finally sold, then.The house has been empty for a year now and you can’t help but feel a little disappointed that the peace you’ve been enjoying could be interrupted. Oh well, no point in dwelling on it, right? You get back into jamming and can’t help but close your eyes for a split second at the climax of the song, clenching your fist and stopping your swaying as you lose yourself to the music again.Except when you open your eyes again, panic surges through you because you’re about to run straight into a very attractive man that must have just come around from the front of the moving van. Fuck! You gasp and slam on your breaks, your face turning red instantly, heart racing as embarrassment floods through you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Kumi's tags on [this post](http://mellifluous-melodramas.tumblr.com/post/161391355958) The tags are: #you know who he looks like?#the cute boy who moved in next door#and you almost run him over with your car when you first meet him#but that’s how u guys become friends#like really close friends#and then feelings get involved and shit goes down

You’re barreling down the street after a long day at work. Music blares from your windows as you sing and dance along, trying to relieve some of the stress built up in your muscles. And it’s working, kinda. You turn down the street and your brow furrows in curiosity at what you see. There’s a moving van parked outside of the house next to yours and an unfamiliar car in the driveway. _Huh_ , you think. _So it finally sold, then._

The house has been empty for a year now and you can’t help but feel a little disappointed that the peace you’ve been enjoying could be interrupted. Oh well, no point in dwelling on it, right? You get back into jamming and can’t help but close your eyes for a split second at the climax of the song, clenching your fist and stopping your swaying as you lose yourself to the music again.

Except when you open your eyes again, panic surges through you because you’re about to run straight into a _very_ attractive man that must have just come around from the front of the moving van. Fuck! You gasp and slam on your breaks, your face turning red instantly, heart racing as embarrassment floods through you.

The man looks a little startled himself, but he’s already laughing, grinning as he watches your face turn red.

“Oh my fucking god,” you call out to him, turning your music down almost all the way, “I’m  _so_ sorry! Holy shit. Are you okay? I didn’t hit you, did I?”

“No, I’m fine,” the man continues to chuckle as he comes around, leaning against the open window so he can talk to you directly. “You didn’t hit me, no worries. You were really rockin’ out,” he teases you. You notice just the slightest hint of an accent buried under many years of suppressing it, of trying to fit in, and you wonder where it’s from.

“Oh geez, yeah,” you force a laugh but feel the blush traveling down your chest now. “Unwinding from a rough day at work.” You motion toward the moving van and house beyond it and try not to notice how damn attractive he is and the lack of ring on his left hand. “Are you my new neighbor?” you ask.

“That’d be me,” he says with a smile and a nod.

“Well hey,” you say quickly, trying to get it out before the rush of courage subsides, “let me park the car real quick and then we can talk properly. I promise I won’t try to hit you this time.” You manage a nervous giggle as his face lights up in more laughter of his own.

“Sounds good,” he says. “Thanks for that.” He winks at you as he backs up a little, playful, smiling with all his teeth, corners of his eyes crinkling up. And, god, you hope he’s single and at least kind of into girls.

“Oh god,” you mumble to yourself, feeling just a little mortified as you pull forward and park in your driveway.

You sling your bag over your shoulder and get out, straightening your clothes as you make your way back to where your new neighbor is leaning against the side of the moving van. You can properly take in the image of him now and you’re almost wishing you didn’t. His hair is short and styled up, that smile still on his gorgeous face. It makes you melt a little inside. He’s lean, but definitely strong under that t-shirt, biceps and pecs  _just_  noticeable. Exactly the kind of guy you dream about. 

You tug at the hem of your shirt again and can’t help but suck in your stomach a little as you approach him, his toned form suddenly making you self-conscious of the chubby body you’re sporting. You’re starting to come to terms with your size, really you are, to be comfortable in your own skin and showing off your body. But, hey, you’re only human and some days are still bad, especially days when you have gorgeous men standing in front of you, smiling at you like that.

“So let’s start over,” you manage to get out around the nerves churning in your stomach. He laughs and that boosts your confidence so you hold a hand out to him, smile a little more sincere now. “I’m your new neighbor and if I hadn’t been at work all day I probably would have come over here with fresh-baked cookies or something.”

“I’m Sebastian,” he says, chuckling as he takes your hand and shakes it. “And now I’m disappointed you had work, because cookies sound awesome.”

“You’ll have to take a raincheck on those for now,” you joke, fidgeting with the strap of your bag when he releases your hand. “But I do have some Gatorade or water if you’re thirsty.”

Sebastian’s smile widens and he nods. “I am, actually, if you don’t mind,” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“It’s the least I can do,” you say, shaking your head a little. “Since I almost ran you over and all. C’mon, I’ve got all kinds of flavors.”

He laughs at that and it’s low and sweet and you try to will your heart to chill the fuck out already. “You have a point,” he teases you as he follows you back to your house.

You can feel his eyes on you and taking in the front of your house as you unlock the door and push it open, stepping in and holding the door open for him after. You kick off your shoes and drop your bag on the couch as you lead him back into your kitchen.

“Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge,” you tell him, motioning toward it. “There’s some food if you’re hungry. Make yourself at home. Hope you don’t mind, I’m gonna put on something more comfortable.” You blush, realizing that that makes this sound like the beginning of a porno just as the words are leaving your mouth, about two seconds too late. “Uh, not like that,” you try to clarify, but he’s already laughing again, though not unkindly. “I’ll be right back,” you mumble.

“Take your time,” he calls after you as you shuffle off to your room, mortified again.

You scold yourself as you change into a simple pair of shorts and a loose tank top, looking yourself over in the mirror for just a little too long. Your face is almost back to its normal color, at least. You huff and tug at your shirt for a moment before sighing softly and making your way back to the kitchen.

Sebastian’s leaning against the small island in the middle of the room, sipping from a Gatorade as he inspects the  comic book themed magnets on your fridge. “Are all these yours?” he asks, turning to smile at you. “Or are some your boyfriend’s?”

“Uh, yeah, they’re all mine,” you say, and there’s that blush again. Damnit. “No boyfriend,” you inform him, then quickly add, “No girlfriend, either. It’s just me here.” You chuckle softly and rub the back of your neck before changing the subject. “Are you hungry?”

“Nah,” he says with a shrug, taking another sip of the sports drink. “My friend’s gonna be over with pizza soon. Shouldn’t spoil my appetite.” He gets a mischievous glint in his eye as he smirks. “Though if you got some of those cookies we were talking about, I might risk it for one of those.”

_Oh my god_ , you think.  _What a dork._  He’s hot  _and_ a dork. You think you just might drop dead on the spot. You can’t help but bust out in a fit of giggles, shaking your head. “No, but I will definitely whip some up for you soon. Promise.”

“All right!” he does a little victory dance and it takes all of your will power to not make some seriously undignified noises at the hilarious, adorable sight.  _Oh my god, act like a normal human being_ , you tell yourself. “Well, hey, I should probably get back to it.” He thumbs in the direction of his house, still bouncing on his heels a little. “But thanks for the drink, really.”

“It’s no problem,” you say, smiling softly. “Oh!” You grab a sticky note and a pen and scribble down your name and cell number. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

That eye-crinkling smile is on his face again as he takes the sticky note and pockets it, nodding. “Alright, thanks,” he says. “My phone’s back at my place, but I’ll text you so you have mine too. Same goes for you. Thanks again,” he says. Your skin tingles as he places a hand on your shoulder briefly before turning and leaving.

You almost wish he hadn’t gone, at least not so quick. But your lungs are glad for it. You heave a sigh as you slump against the counter, finally able to breathe again for the first time in half an hour. “Holy shit,” you mumble aloud, shaking your head. You can’t believe you just gave him your number. You invited into your home and gave him your number, just like that. Like he wasn’t this dorky, gorgeous dream guy that you now live next to.

Holy shit. What did you get yourself into?


	2. Chapter 2

The weekend takes forever to arrive, but it does eventually come and you’re beyond grateful for it. You and Sebastian had been texting a little through the rest of the week and you haven’t forgotten those cookies you promised him, though he might have by now. Wanting to surprise him, you fought the urge to ask what his favorite kind is. Instead you just choose to make chocolate chip. Who doesn’t like chocolate chip?

Saturday morning you get up bright and early. You make yourself a travel mug of coffee and get dressed before making a quick trip to the store. You make sure to pick up everything you’ll need for the cookies along with your usual groceries and you’re happy that it’s still pretty early by the time you get home.

You turn on the TV for some background noise and open up all the windows, musing over whether you’ll make breakfast or the cookies first. You heave a sigh as your stomach growls, making the decision for you. Breakfast it is. You refill your coffee and make a quick breakfast. As you eat you watch the living room TV from your spot leaning against the breakfast bar you use more as counter space than anything else.

You pile the dishes next to the sink and promise you’ll save enough energy to do them later. You’re just going to accumulate more dishes making the cookies anyway, you reason with yourself. Time is flying by as you make the cookies and you hop up on the counter to watch TV while each batch bakes. Before you know it you’ve got a mountain of cookies piled onto a serving plate and a little plate set aside to keep for yourself.

Proud of yourself, you grin and carefully wrap them in foil to make sure they stay at least somewhat warm and soft. You take a shower and dress up in a pair of nice but comfy shorts and a tank top that you’ve been told hugs all the right curves. It’s not really a great body image day for you, but you’re going to give it all you’ve got.

You brush your fingers through your hair and spend five minutes arguing with yourself over whether you should put makeup on or not. (You decide not to. This is supposed to be casual, right? You’re just friends, after all. Just dropping off cookies like a good friend and a good neighbor.)

You turn the TV off and grab the plate of cookies on your way out the door, making your way across the lawns and to Sebastian’s porch. You ring the bell and can’t help but fidget with the hem of your shirt, feeling self-conscious again at the thought of Sebastian’s eyes on you in any context. Your heart flutters as he opens the door, looking rumpled and sleepy (despite the fact that it’s now almost one in the afternoon), but still happy to see you.

“Hey you,” he greets you, looking curiously at the bundle you’ve got tucked under your arm.

“Hey sleepy head,” you tease him, motioning toward his bedhead. “If I remember correctly, I owe you some cookies.” You hold out the plate and he’s grinning like a kid on Christmas as he lifts up the foil just enough to peek under it.

“Fuck yeah,” he mutters, slipping a cookie off the plate and shoving it half in his mouth for holding as he takes the plate from you. “C’mon in,” he mumbles around the baked good, motioning with his head for you to follow him.

You close the door behind you and can’t help but look around the house. He’s still only half-unpacked, but the piano in the front room catches your eye instantly. Your gaze lingers on it, curious, as you follow him through and to the kitchen.

“You play?” you ask him, motioning to the room you both just left.

“Oh, yeah,” Sebastian chuckles and sets the plate down on his counter. He looks like he’s going to elaborate but he doesn’t get a chance to as he lets out a downright sinful sound, finally taking a proper bite of the cookie. The sound shoots right down your spine and makes you blush and laugh nervously. “Oh doamne these are good,” he mumbles as he stuffs the other half in his mouth, other hand already peeling back the foil to go for another.

You vaguely wonder what language that was, but your brain is a little too fried from that noise he made to think to ask. Instead you shrug and drop your gaze to the floor, smiling shyly. “It’s really the only baked good I’ve mastered. If you think those are good, you should let me cook for you sometime,” you joke.

 _Shit,_ you scold yourself when a chuckle escapes his lips. Did you seriously just say that? Sure he’s gorgeous and you guys are kinda friends now, but you’ve met plenty of gorgeous guys and you didn’t run your damn mouth like this in front of any of them like this. Sure, people make you nervous sometimes because you’re a little insecure, but you don’t know if you’ve ever reacted like this in front of someone before. Get it together, geez.

“Is that an offer doll?” he teases, eyebrow quirked and lips curled up into a smirk when you gather enough courage to glance up at him.

Your cheeks heat up again as you stammer out, “I, uh, I mean, yeah.” Smooth. “I mean, I love cooking, and I love cooking for friends even more. There’s a seat for you at my table any time.”

His smile grows as he takes a bite of his third cookie. “Any time?” he asks, half skeptical, half still teasing.

“Any time,” you reply with a confident nod. No matter what, he’s your friend now and you’re always happy to feed a friend.

“You really mean it?” he asks again, hopping up to sit on his counter. “Tonight, even? Because I don’t think I’ve had a home-cooked meal all week. I think it could do me some good.”

You let out a little surprised noise and try to will your blush to keep fading, hoping your smile doesn’t look as nervous as you feel as you nod again. “Yeah, tonight is fine. I usually cook around six or seven, but just come by whenever you start feeling hungry and I’ll start then.”

“You’re a saint,” Sebastian says excitedly. He hops back down from the counter and closes the distance between you, taking your hands in his. “Seriously babe, a saint.”

Your blush comes back in full-force as you drop your gaze again, laughing nervously. “Nah, nothing like that,” you insist, an uneasiness starting to settle in the pit of your stomach. Guys like him don’t like girls like you, you remind yourself. He’s just going to sweet talk you and flirt and eat your food and then tell you you’re the best friend ever as he asks you for your slimmer friend’s number, just like all the rest. “Any allergies or things you don’t like?”

“Nope,” Sebastian grins, proud, as he pulls his hands back, “I’m a human garbage disposal.”

You snort and can’t help but roll your eyes fondly, shoving your hands into your back pockets. “Well, I should get going,” you say. “Dishes to do and stuff. But, like I said, just come on over when you start getting hungry or whenever.”

“Alright,” he says, walking you back to the front door. “Thanks again,” he adds, pulling you into a tight hug that has your heart racing.

“It’s nothing,” you say when you pull back, smiling despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“You’re a saint,” he insists, pointing finger guns in your direction as you walk backwards toward your own house, laughing and shaking your head at him.

What a fucking dork, you think. Could he be more perfect?

 

 

*

 

The dishes are done and put away and you even cleaned off the breakfast bar. It’s the least you can do, you think, considering you still haven’t gotten a proper table to eat at. Now you’re lounging on your couch, the TV on but you’re not paying much attention to it at all, instead opting to browse Tumblr, when there’s a knock on your door. It startles you for a moment, until you realize how quickly it had become evening. You glance at the clock and it’s- holy shit, six thirty already? Shit.

“Come on in,” you call, tucking your phone in your pocket as you stand and stretch. You’d meant to get something creative done today, but after prepping for dinner time had completely escaped you. You’re mostly just grateful you hadn’t changed back into your pajamas, so you still look casual but nice.

Sebastian walks through the door, smiling and looking significantly more put together than he had a few hours ago. His hair isn’t styled and you’re not sure which way you like it better. He’s in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and your heart still flutters at the sight of him. “Hey beautiful,” he says, closing the distance between you two and pulling you into a hug.

“You know I’ll feed you whether you flatter me or not,” you tease him, laughing as you nudge him lightly. You make your way into the kitchen and start pulling out the pots and pans and utensils you’ll need for dinner.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true,” he quips back, raising his eyebrows at you and smirking as he follows you toward the kitchen and settles on a stool at the breakfast bar.

“Well I don’t know about all that,” you tease, pointing a spatula at him. “I’ll have to consult the dictionary to confirm or deny.”

Sebastian laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his hands gripping the counter lightly. You recognize something in that laughter that tugs at your heartstrings. Who was it that said the saddest people laugh the loudest? Well, whoever it is, they aren’t wrong, and Sebastian laughs hard. It makes you long to get closer to him, to get to know the real him. That deep and dirty stuff that we keep locked in our chests. It makes you long to comfort him.

“You know, you can turn something else on,” you say once his laughter peters out, motioning toward the TV, a bittersweet smile playing on your lips.

“Nah, I don’t care what we watch,” he says with a shrug, patting the countertop. “So, tell me more about your week.”

You settle into an easy conversation, chatting about your work, his new job. He tells you hilarious stories about his friends and you share a couple of your own, trying to ignore the little wave of sadness that washes over you thinking about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them. But Sebastian takes your mind off of it easily, flirting with you as you talk and making your heart race with that grin of his.

When the food’s almost done you tell him to pick a movie and put it on and it plays in the background as you two sit at the breakfast  bar and eat. After it’s done you’d expected him to leave, but instead he insists on loading up the dishwasher for you.

“You wanna move into the living room to finish the movie?” he asks as he turns the dishwasher on and stands, hands on his hips and a proud smile on his face.

“Oh, sure,” you say, rubbing the back of your neck as you smile at him a little hesitantly.

He sees the hesitation on your face and his smile falls just slightly. “We don’t have to, if you wanted to settle in for the night or whatever.”

A blush blooms on your cheeks and you shake your head quickly. “No, no, I want to,” you insist, smile more sure this time. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to,” you laugh softly. “You’re not obligated to hang out just cuz I made you dinner.”

“I know,” he replies, stepping closer and resting a hand on your arm. “I just like hanging out with you, that’s all.”

“Oh,” you say, smiling down at your toes, “well, I’m glad. I like hanging out with you too.”

“Good,” Sebastian says simply. He slips his arm around your shoulders as he spins you around toward the living room. “So, movie then?”

“Movie,” you agree, giving a definitive nod.

He leads you to the couch and keeps his arm around you as he flops down so that as he does he pulls you down right next to him. You hit the cushions with a little “oomph” that makes him chuckle. You settle into an easy silence, actually paying attention to the movie finally, when he starts to rub along your arm gently.

“Thanks for having me over,” he says quietly for what feels like the millionth time today.

“It’s no big deal,” you reply, a smile on your lips as you glance at him. “I mean it. You’re welcome any time. _Any_ time.”

He lets out a soft hum and then turns to meet your eye, his own smile growing. “Thank you,” he repeats. “It really means a lot.”


	3. Chapter 3

The next Friday you’re coming home from yet another long week of work when you see Sebastian outside tossing a football back and forth with a friend. He notices your car and waves you over as you’re driving by, an excited grin on his face. It’s hot as hell today and your windows are down as you roll to a stop in front of his yard, a timid smile on your lips.

“Hey!” he calls as he runs up to your car window. “Hey doll, you got any plans tonight?” he asks, leaning into the window so he can talk to you face to face.

“Hey,” his friend says, a sly grin on his face, giving a little wave as he leans down to peer into the window.

“Hey,” you reply, waving back. A slight blush blooms on your cheeks at his grin and Sebastian’s use of the pet name. You try to shrug it off and act normal. Not developing a major crush on your cute neighbor-slash-friend at all, nope. “Nope. Was just gonna put on my pjs and relax. Why? What’s up?”

“Me and Anthony – this is Anthony, by the way. Mackie, this is the sweetheart I’ve been telling you about –“ your face is hot as your blush darkens “we just got a bonfire pit. We were gonna have some beers, grill up some steaks, make s’mores later. You want in?” Sebastian’s smile is so genuine it makes your insides all warm and gooey as he tips his head to you, eyes hopeful.

“Oh, I don’t wanna impose,” you say, that weak smile still on your face as you nervously run a hand through your hair. More like you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your not-crush’s best friend.

“Wouldn’t be an imposition at all,” Sebastian insists.

“He bought extra so he could invite you over,” Anthony butts in and completely exposes him. He coughs out a laugh and backs away a couple steps when Seb elbows him in the gut.

Seb’s got a sheepish grin on his face as he looks back to you and geez, how is it you can sit here and turn fifty shades of red while he’s totally unfazed?

“Just thought I’d pay you back for last week, the cookies and dinner and all,” he explains, charming smile still on his face even as his fingers drum almost anxiously against the door of your car. “So what do you say gorgeous? Steak, s’mores, a bonfire with a pair of hot guys?”

You laugh and roll your eyes fondly, trying to play it all off like he doesn’t make your heart race every time he compliments you, calls you a pet name, every second you spend with him. And the way his friend Anthony is looking at you would make you hopeful if you didn’t know better than to think a guy like Sebastian would ever have feelings for a girl like you. Regardless, you two have become really good friends since he moved in two weeks ago, so you already know what you’re going to say.

“I’m in,” you say, chuckling. “Let me go dump my bag and change.” You really haven’t stopped surprising yourself at the level of chill you’ve been able to fake these past two weeks. You’re really upping your game. Go you.

“You hungry?” Sebastian asks, taking a step back but still holding on to the open window as you nod. “Good. I’ll fire the grill up,” he says, smile widening, patting the door one more time before letting go and backing away. Anthony says something you don’t quite catch and Seb looks at him and laughs and reaches out to punch him playfully. Your heart skips a beat.

You park your car and dump your work bag on the kitchen counter as you hurry to your room. It’s hot now but it’s going to get chilly and you’re having a good body image day so you throw on a pair of leggings and a crop top. You brush your fingers through your hair before saying fuck it and pulling it up instead. You pause at your flip-flops but say fuck it to those too.

An unopened wine cooler dangles from your fingers as you pad barefoot across your back yard and into Sebastian’s and when you see the looks on both of the men’s faces you’re suddenly self-conscious again, second guessing your outfit choice. Not that the looks are bad necessarily. They’re just both grinning at you, both of them staring. You’re not used to it so it’s a little unnerving. But you’re determined to push past it and keep up the act of nonchalance. Anthony lets out a low whistle and chuckles as he tosses a bottle cap at Seb where he’s standing at the grill.

“Outfit that bad, huh?” you ask half-joking as you slip into a chair across from Anthony and pop the cap off your drink.

“That good,” he replies with a wink before glancing over to Sebastian, who’s giving him a look you can’t quite read.

It draws a surprised giggle from your lips and causes that flush on your cheeks again. “What a charmer,” you tease him, leaning back in the chair as you take a sip. “Seb, your friend here is going to sweep me off my feet if you don’t watch him,” you joke, laughing again.

Anthony is laughing too as he looks to Seb again, a smirk on his lips and his eyebrows raised challengingly. “Yeah Seb, aren’t you gonna defend your girl’s honor over here?”

You nearly choke on your drink at Anthony calling you “Seb’s” girl, but you play it off, forcing out a laugh. “Hey now, I’m a strong independent woman,” you start, puffing up your chest even as you laugh, “and I have no honor to defend. So there.” You deflate again, clearly pleased with yourself as you slouch in the chair and take another sip of your drink.

Both men bark out a surprised laugh at your joke, sharing a look before Seb turns, shaking his head, to take the food off the grill. He mutters something to himself in that language again around a chuckle and your smile softens.

“What language is that?” you ask him around another sip.

“Romanian,” Anthony replies before Sebastian gets a chance. “’S where he’s from. He speaks German, too.”

“That’s awesome,” you say, sitting up straighter as you look to him. “How old where you when you came here?”

“Twelve,” Seb replies, setting a plate down in front of you.

Oh, shit. You have to eat in front of them now. You did _not_ think this through. Being a “bigger” girl (as your family always called it), you’ve always been self-conscious of eating in front of people, especially strangers. The pasta you made for Seb last week was one thing, could be eaten delicately. Steak is on a-whole-nother level. Ugh. Good job, genius.

Thankfully the boys are totally oblivious as they dig in. Sebastian notices your discomfort, though he looks confused as to why.

“Please tell me you’re not the kind of person who eats your steak well done,” he teases you with his face scrunched up, trying to cheer you up and figure out what’s wrong simultaneously and subtly.

“Noooo!” you laugh, shaking your head quickly. “No, god no.” Your cheeks flush yet again and you’re grateful for what he’s trying to do, though now you just feel more self-conscious as Anthony’s looking at you curiously too. You take a sip of your drink and try desperately to think of a topic to change the conversation to.

“So, are you two having a sleepover tonight?” you ask, tone a little strained as you force a laugh. It’s weak, but it’ll do.

“Nah,” Anthony replies, laughing. “Though I’ll probably be over late. It _is_ the weekend and all.”

“You know if you keep drinking like that you’re gonna end up crashing on my couch,” Seb teases him, pointing his fork accusingly in his direction.

“I only ever do that so your drunk ass don’t go to bed lonely,” Anthony quips right back. “Unlike you, _I_ can hold my liquor.”

“I can’t,” you chime in before downing the last of your drink. Both of the men bust out laughing again.

The rest of the evening goes just as perfectly as it had started. Anthony and Seb both have this ease about them and it makes it a little bit easier to relax. The only awkwardness you feel is caused by your own doubts, you know. You haven’t had a lot of guy friends in your life and it’s new and strange. Regardless, there’s a lot of joking and laughing and drinking and when the sun finally starts to set the men struggle trying to light the bonfire.

“Who’s going to defend _your_ honor?” you tease them both, referring to earlier’s conversation as you drag three chairs over and position them around the bonfire pit. “Useless men.”

“That’s _cold,_ beautiful,” Anthony says over his shoulder, but he’s laughing.

You cheeks are permanently pink now from the alcohol running through your system and you’re almost grateful for it. “I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em,” you joke with a nonchalant shrug, fighting a smirk. You settle down in the left chair and pop the cap off a beer, taking a long sip.

“So what’s your deal?” Anthony asks you, curious and flirty, as they finally get the bonfire lit. “You seeing anyone?” He and Seb both grab fresh drinks and settle into the other chairs, Seb in the middle.

“Nope,” you say with a chuckle, popping the p. “Just lil’ ol’ me for three years now.”

“Three years?” Sebastian asks, eyebrows reaching toward his hairline. “No way you’ve been single that long.”

You laugh bitterly and shake your head. “Way,” you say with a shrug. “People don’t really like me, especially not _that way.”_ You’re already kind of an open book, and now the booze is loosening your tongue, so they’re gonna get the whole damn story. “I mean, look at me,” you scoff. “My only relationship- I got with this guy right outta high school and we were together up until, ya know, those three years ago.” Another bitter laugh pulls itself from your throat. “He was shit, so it was for the better and all. I’m glad the fucker’s out of my life now.”

“Just the one?” Anthony asks, skeptical. “Just one relationship? Seriously?”

“Just the one,” you repeat. You can feel the flush creeping down your chest and you keep your eyes fixed firmly on the bonfire crackling away. “I’m a lot of things, but a liar ain’t one of ‘em.”

Sebastian looks thoughtful as Mackie smirks and goes on, “So does that mean you’ve only, ya know, _been_ with one person?”

A nervous giggle spills out from your lips as you cover your face with your hands. “Maybe,” you mumble, shaking your head at how mortifying this conversation has become.

“Awh baby, don’t be shy,” Anthony flirts and you let out another nervous giggle. “C’mon sweetheart, look at me.” You turn your head in his direction and peek through your fingers and it draws a laugh from him. “Nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he coos. “If you’d like, I can change that,” he jokes, winking at you.

You bark out a laugh and shake your head. “Thanks for the offer,” you say, finally dropping your hands, “but I’m not big on one night stands.”

“Doesn’t have to be a one night stand.” Anthony chuckles and the corner of his mouth tugs up into a smirk. “Well, anyway, if you change your mind…” he trails off, pointing finger guns at you.

“Back off,” Sebastian mumbles, and when you both look at him his jaw is tight and his fists are clenched.

Your already pink cheeks deepen to a dark crimson and you fight the urge to hide your face in your hands again.

“Sorry,” Anthony says to both of you, his face softening. “I was just kidding. You know I was just kidding, right?” he asks you. “I hope I didn’t upset you doll.”

“No, no it’s fine,” you say, smiling softly at Anthony as you prop your bare feet up in Sebastian’s lap. “I know you were kidding.” Sebastian’s still tense but he rests his hands over your ankles and massages them gently, mindlessly.

“Y’know,” Anthony says to you, changing the subject, “I’m having a pool party in a couple of weeks for the Fourth of July. You should come.”

“Yeah!” Seb brightens at the suggestion. “It’s gonna be great. You should totally come.”

Both of their eyes are on you and you chuckle, shaking your head. “Oh, um, thanks, I appreciate it, but I couldn’t do that,” you say before downing the last of your beer.

“It’s my party and I’m inviting you, so you can totally come,” Anthony says as Seb pats your feet lightly.

“If you’re worried about imposing,” he starts, surprising you with how well he’s gotten to know you already, “bring a batch of those cookies or something.”

“Shit, no one would be mad if you brought cookies,” Anthony snickers.

“You guys want another drink?” Seb asks, gently setting your feet back on the ground as he gets up and heads toward the house.

You and Anthony both call out a yes and when Sebastian disappears in the house Anthony turns to you. “You’ve been really good for him, you know,” he says.

“Me?” you ask, your brow furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah,” he replies, his smile widening. “I’m really glad you almost ran him over with your car.”


	4. Chapter 4

The Fourth of July creeps up on you before you know it. You spend the entire day before baking cookies. Sebastian had warned that Anthony has a lot of friends, so you want to make sure you make enough for everyone, not to mention a whole slew of different kinds. You never know what people are going to like (or be allergic to), right? By the end of the night your counter is _full_ of Tupperware all stacked and carefully labeled. You even went so far as to doodle little pictures of the cookies on them and write the names in cute fonts. They’re totally Pinterest worthy, even if the Tupperware doesn’t all match.

You and Sebastian had agreed to carpool so you wake up bright and early to a text from him.

[ **Seb:** Morning beautiful ;) Don’t forget to bring your bathing suit]

You send back your own good morning text and tell him to come get you whenever he’s ready. You warn him that you’ll need his help with the cookies, to which he sends back a series of question marks and you send back the angel emoji about a million times just before hopping into the shower.

You get out and slip on your bathing suit, deciding you’ll just wear your clothes over it. This year you had felt bold and decided to get a bikini, something cute and supportive that actually fits you and, okay, maybe it cost way too much. But no one has to know that. It was either spend too much money or get some ugly grandma one piece or tankini and you were determined to rock the bikini this year, so that just wouldn’t be good enough.

You pull on a pair of shorts and a loose tank and inspect yourself in the mirror. Not bad, you think. Pretty good, even. If you were a stranger and you saw yourself walking down the street you’d think you looked good, right? You decide to skip the makeup (it’ll just smear in the pool anyway, right?) and you’re just finishing up packing a bag (sunblock, check. Towel, check. Warmer clothes for when it gets dark, check) when you hear the back door open.

“Holy shit,” Sebastian exclaims from the kitchen, a laugh bubbling up from his throat. “You weren’t kidding about the cookies. Damn. And the doodles are adorable. Did you do that?” His voice gets louder as he makes his way to your room and then his head pops around the doorframe. “Everyone’s gonna _love_ you,” he says, still laughing. “You look good,” he adds.

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” you tease as you turn to look at him, batting your lashes at him. “Thanks,” you add, chuckling, as you turn back to the bag. You zip it up and sling it over your shoulder as you stuff your phone in your pocket, snatching your sunglasses off your dresser and slipping them onto your head. “Ready?”

“Hell yeah,” he says, laughing as he disappears from the doorway again. You find him in the kitchen, piling his arms with Tupperware.

“You don’t have to get them all you know,” you say, giggling, as you walk around the counter and reach under the sink to grab a plastic shopping bag. “Here,” you hold it out to him as you grab another, “somehow I think this will make it easier.”

Once all of the containers are in bags you lock the door and head out to his car, where his stuff (namely a backpack and a case of beer) is already loaded into the trunk. You add your stuff to the collection and pile into the car, nerves staring to bubble in your stomach like acid and make your hands shake.

“So you think there will be a lot of people?” you ask, hoping you don’t sound as nervous as you feel. You don’t really do well in big crowds of people you don’t know (or small crowds of people you don’t know for that matter) and your heart is starting to race at the thought.

“There usually is,” Seb says, glancing over to you briefly, “but don’t worry, you can cling to me until you get to know everyone if you need.” He chuckles and reaches over, resting a comforting hand on your knee.

“Thanks,” you say, letting out a slow breath. “I probably will. You or Anthony, at least.” You chuckle nervously and run a hand through your hair as you look out the window.

“You and Chris will get along really well,” he says, chuckling. “Evans. He gets nervous around groups of strangers too. And he’s good at faking it, like you.”

“That obvious?” you ask, huffing out a laugh.

“Nah,” Seb replies, shaking his head and giving your knee a gentle squeeze, “I just know what to look for.”

He tells you funny little anecdotes about all of their friends that will be there as you make your way to Anthony’s house and when you pull into the neighborhood your eyebrows shoot toward your hairline. These houses are _huge_. Huge huge. Rich people huge, at least by your standards. Not Hollywood huge or anything, but _damn._ What the hell does Anthony do for a living, you can’t help but wonder.

Cars are lined up outside of almost every house and you definitely understand why Seb was so quick to suggest carpooling. Geez. The house you park outside of _nice,_ but then so are all the others, you reason. This one is extra nice, you think, because it’s Anthony’s. Laughter can already be heard coming from the back and Sebastian chuckles as he watches your face.

“Looks like we’re the last ones here,” he says, patting your knee again. “You ready?”

You smile at him, patting his hand as you suck in a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be,” you say, laughing nervously. “Let’s go.”

He pops the trunk and you both grab your stuff before making your way into the house. You dump your bags in the living room and most everyone is outside but as you enter the kitchen you see an actual, literal giant grabbing a drink from the fridge. Seriously, Sebastian is a pretty tall guy, and this blondie makes him look almost as short as you. And jesus those muscles. You didn’t think people actually got that big. How many hours a day does he spend in the gym?

“Seb! Long time no see,” he says in a thick Australian accent. Okay, you hadn’t expected that. He lets Sebastian set the beer on a countertop before pulling him into a hug.

“How’ve you been?” Sebastian asks as he hugs him back, chuckling. “This is Chris. Hemsworth, not Evans” he says to you when they part.

“Very nice to meet you,” Chris says, stepping forward with a hand outstretched. Behind him, Seb starts piling the beer into the fridge and pulling the cookies out of the bags, lining them up on the counter.

“You too,” you say, smiling nervously, and you actually have to _look up_ at him. What the fuck? “So are your parents giants too?” you joke, for lack of anything else to say. You babble when you’re nervous, so what?

Thankfully, Chris throws his head back in a laugh instead of being offended. “Are your parents hobbits?” he asks with a  grin.

“Actually, just my mom is,” you snark back, crossing your arms over your chest. Okay, sci-fi. You can talk sci-fi. “Dad’s human, that’s how I ended up with the normal feet.” You gesture to your now-bare feet and both Sebastian and Chris crack up.

“Where’d you find her?” Chris jokes, motioning toward you as he looks to Seb.

“She ran me over with her car,” Seb jokes back, winking at you.

“Slander!” you say, trying to feign offence but giggling despite yourself. “I _almost_ ran you over with my car! I didn’t actually hit you.”

Both of them are cracking up as the screen door slides open and Anthony steps into the kitchen. “Awwh yeah!” he calls out. “Vanilla Ice is here! My Sexy Seabass lookin’ good.” Sebastian is still laughing as Mackie pulls him into a hug.

“Chocolachino,” he says, patting him on the back. You quirk an eyebrow at them both, laughing at the crazy nicknames. “Everyone else here already?”

“Oh yeah,” Anthony replies, motioning toward the screen door. “Don’t you hear all that commotion?”

“How could I not?” Sebastian says, chuckling.

Anthony turns toward you and his smile grows impossibly wider. “There’s my girl,” he says, stepping forward and pulling you into a hug. “Glad you decided to come.”

You blush and giggle, shaking your head as you hug him back and kiss his cheek. “You’re gonna be even happier when you notice the mountain of cookies,” you say, motioning toward the counter when you pull apart.

Anthony actually gasps as a laugh bubbles up from his chest. “No fuckin’ way. You made all these? No way.”

“Took me all day yesterday, but it was worth it,” you say, grinning, proud.

“Dude, everyone’s gonna love you,” he repeats Seb’s sentiment from earlier. “I could kiss you girl, I really could. You know what, I’m gonna!” And then he grabs your face and kisses both of your cheeks, causing your blush to darken as you both laugh.

“Wanna go outside?” Sebastian asks with a chuckle, holding a beer out to you as you and Anthony separate. You notice Chris had slipped back outside sometime during the exchange.

“Yeah,” you say, smiling softly as you take the beer. The butterflies that had settled in your stomach while you talked to Anthony start fluttering full-force again at the thought of all those people out there, but you can’t back down now. “Let’s go.”

Anthony heads out first and Sebastian follows, leading you with an arm linked through yours. As you take in all the people your hands start to shake again and your heart sinks into your stomach when you notice a common denominator among the women here. They’re all _gorgeous_. Thin and gorgeous with flawless skin and all that confidence you’d mustered earlier goes down the drain. You can’t believe you thought you could wear a bikini. You can’t believe you skipped out on the makeup. You swallow hard and your grip on Sebastian’s arm tightens subconsciously. Seriously, where did Anthony pick these girls up? Are they all fucking models or something? So, what, you’re the token chubby girl friend?

Seb yanks you from your thoughts with a hand on your arm. “You okay?” he asks softly, right against your ear and your heart skips a beat. You can feel your cheeks turning red again.

“Yeah,” you breath, forcing a smile. You know it’s weak, but it’ll fool anyone who doesn’t know you well. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Sebastian looks unconvinced, but he smiles encouragingly and leads you around the yard, introducing you to everyone. Everyone is nice and extremely welcoming, about what you’d expected. You really didn’t think Seb and Anthony would be friends with a bunch of assholes or anything. The girls all compliment you on your heart-shaped sunglasses and you remind yourself that this isn’t high school and these aren’t the popular girls. They’re probably huge nerds just like you, and they’re not calling you fat and ugly behind your back. It’s all your insecurity. Chill out, you scold yourself.

The guys are great too, Paul, Jeremy, and Tom are hilarious, Don and Chadwick are sweethearts, everyone is really great. Finally you make your way to where Hemsworth is talking with another big dude (geez, where does Mackie find these guys?). Not as big as Chris, but still impressive. He’s sporting a neatly trimmed beard and a jersey and baseball cap and he looks like a _total_ meathead. Still, there’s something soft about him, a kindness in his eyes. And he’s awfully pretty for a guy that beefy. Not to mention that shoulder to waist ratio.

Your initial assessment of his kindness is proved right when he smiles at Seb like he hung the moon and pulls him into a tight hug that lasts just a little longer than most guys would normally be comfortable with. You’re glad to see that Seb’s friends are all just as sweet and affectionate as him. Those are the kind of people he needs in his life, judging by what Anthony had said.

You had kind of hung back while Seb said hello but when he pulls back from the hug he smiles at you and motions you forward. “Babe, this is Chris. Evans this time,” he says, laughing.

“You must be the girl I’ve heard so much about,” he says, holding a hand out to shake. When you take his hand, though, he pulls you into one of those bear hugs and god does it feel nice. Like everything’s going to be okay. “You’ve got Seb and Anthony here quite smitten,” he teases as he pulls back, nudging Seb and winking at you.

You giggle and blush, shrugging, “What can I say?” you joke, “I’m just that great I guess.”

“You are,” Sebastian assures you as Evans whispers something in his ear that makes him blush and shake his head in response.

Just then another unfamiliar face appears, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side. “So Mackie says you’re the genius behind the pile of delicious cookies,” he says into your ear, grinning. “Hi, I’m Robert.”

Your blush only deepens and you tense just a little, chuckling nervously. “Glad you like them,” you say. Both Chrises and Sebastian all roll their eyes fondly and Sebastian grabs your wrist, tugging you back over to him and looping his arm through yours again.

“Let’s try not to sexually harass new friends,” Evans teases him.

“Sorry,” Robert laughs, holding his hands up, “didn’t realize she was already spoken for.”

If you hadn’t been blushing before you would be now. “Oh, no, it’s not like that,” you say, slipping a hand into your pocket and fidgeting with the hem of it.

Robert eyes you and Seb up and down then narrows his eyes suspiciously, a smirk on his lips. “Whatever you say,” he mutters. “Either way, definitely come around more often if you’re going to be bringing cookies.” Then he gives a salute and wanders off.

“So that’s Robert,” Evans says, laughing.

“Sorry about that,” Seb adds, patting your arm before letting it go.

“It’s fine,” you say, chuckling. “Just surprised me.”

The three of them slip into a conversation about football that you really couldn’t care less about. So you stand there fidgeting with your hands in your pockets as you kind of half-listen. That is, until a British accent catches your attention. She’s talking about the new Wonder Woman movie with the rest of the girls and you slip away from Sebastian’s side to join them.

“So do you think they’ll start giving us more female superhero movies now?” a blonde (Scarlett, you remember) is asking.

“I hope so,” Elizabeth replies.

“And more female directors, too,” you chime in, willing the pink of your cheeks to fade.

“Exactly!” says the woman with the accent. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Hayley.”

You give her your name and shake her hand, exchanging ‘nice to meet you’s. “So, how do you guys feel about sci-fi and fantasy?” you ask with a shy smile.

“Oh don’t even get me started,” Gwen says with a chuckle. “I’ll go on for days.”

Alright, so they’re just pretty nerd girls. You can hang with that. Relief finally starts to settle over you as you fall into the conversation easily. Before you know it it’s like hanging out with your old friends from high school and you wonder what you’d ever been nervous about. You all pull out your phones so they can add you on everything from Facebook to Tumblr and you’re starting to feel really glad you agreed to come. You’d drifted apart from most of your high school friends and had been really missing having some girl friends (friends at all before Sebastian) in person to hang out with. Maybe you won’t be gushing over your crush on Seb anytime soon (they were his friend first, and while that could be helpful, they could also tell him), but it’s a start.

You even end up in the pool. The girls are nothing but supportive, giving you all kinds of compliments when you blush and hesitate to show off your bathing suit. But it is scorching out and you’re glad you did when the cool water hits your skin. As you float you glance to Sebastian from time to time and smile, watching as he makes his way around the yard catching up with everyone.

Before you know it the sun is starting to set and you’re shivering. Everyone gets out of the pool and changes into warmer clothes while Anthony and Chadwick start cooking. The food is great and you end up standing by the grill as you eat, chatting with them about spices and what they put in these amazing hamburgers.

When everyone’s done eating Anthony announces the cookies in the kitchen, joking that they’re totally outshining the cupcakes he’d bought from the store. You spend the next twenty minutes trying not to blush as you’re showered with compliments and requests for your recipes as everyone settles in for the fireworks.

You find Sebastian reclining on a blanket he’s laid out in the grass. “Hey you,” you say, and as you settle in next to him you realize just how much of the day you’d actually spent apart from him. You’re surprised that you’d managed to get so comfortable with his friends so quickly, but also happy for it. After all, you would have felt bad if he’d been stuck with you clinging to him the whole day.

“There you are,” Seb says with a chuckle as he looks over at you. “I thought you’d left without me or something,” he jokes.

“Now how could I do that if you’re my ride?” you tease, nudging him.

“I dunno,” he laughs as he nudges you back, “maybe you can hotwire cars or something. I don’t know.”

You open your mouth to make some snarky reply about this not being the Fast and Furious franchise or something but just then the fireworks start to go off. A laugh bubbles up from your throat instead and you turn your gaze upward, a smile across your face. It’s been so long since you’ve watched the fireworks on Fourth of July at all. Your ex hadn’t really been into it (hadn’t really been into much at all, if you’re honest) and it had kind of drained the fun out of it. After he left, you didn’t really have anyone to go with, so you didn’t.

As Sebastian oo’s and ah’s next to you, you realize how nice it could have been. You both jump at one of those stupid ones that are just loud, not pretty at all, and then turn to each other laughing.

“I hate those ones,” you say, still giggling as you shake your head a little.

“Me too,” he says, but his smile softens as his eyes meet yours.

You swallow hard and feel your cheeks burn red under the intensity of his gaze. He brings a hand up and cups your cheek and he might not be able to see the blush, but you know he’ll feel it now and that just makes it worse. Your heart races and your stomach is doing flips and if you didn’t know better you’d say he looks like he’s about to kiss you.

“Ești atât de frumos,” Sebastian says so softly you almost don’t hear it (not that it really matters, because you don’t understand it).

But then he leans forward and your heart is beating so fast it almost hurts and you can’t breathe or move or say anything but let your eyes flutter shut. You can feel his breath against your lips as he hesitates just a second and-

And it’s a second too long because another one of those damn loud ass fireworks goes off and you let out a startled little shout as both of you jump, bumping foreheads hard in the process.

“Oww,” you whine, laughing as you rub your forehead.

“Sorry!” Sebastian says, pulling his hand back as he rubs the bruise you’re pretty sure is forming on his own. “Fucking fireworks,” he mumbles, forcing a laugh. “Sorry. Forget I ever… Sorry. I’ll go get us some ice.”

And then he’s scrambling up and rushing into the kitchen before you can even protest or assure him it’s fine, disappointment settling deep in your gut.


	5. Chapter 5

It has been a week and a half since Sebastian almost kissed you and you are losing your damn mind. He’s barely answered your texts, and when he does the responses are half of what he would normally respond or stupid one and two word responses. It’s driving you nuts and you almost wish he’d never fucking tried to kiss you in the first place.

Okay, so maybe he does have feelings for you (or maybe he was just half-drunk, whatever). So what? You would give all that up to have your friend back. You’ve gotten so attached to him in the nearly two months he’s been your neighbor. That’s it, you decide. If things ever right themselves with him, you’re not going to pursue him. You’re not going to swoon over him or wish he’d feel the same about you. When he gets sick of you and breaks up with you you’ll lose him forever and losing his friendship is _not_ something you’re willing to do. That is, if you ever get it back in the first place…

You’re startled out of your thoughts by your phone ringing. Anthony’s face appears and yours scrunches up in confusion.

“Hey,” you greet him like normal, pressing your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you pace around your kitchen and living room mindlessly. “What’s up?”

“Do you know what’s up with Seb?” he asks. “He’s been super down and acting all weird and he won’t talk about it.”

You sigh softly and chew on your bottom lip. If Seb hasn’t told him, is it really something you should do? Do you even have a right to? Well, Anthony _is_ your friend too. And it did involve you. So, really, it’s just as much your story to tell as it is Sebastian’s, right?

“Oh you know _something_ ,” Anthony says when you’ve been quiet too long. Shit. “Spill. What’s going on?”

You sigh again and flop into a stool at your breakfast bar, slouching on an elbow as you start to doodle on your grocery list. “Alright, alright,” you mumble. “At your party… he tried to kiss me.” Anthony lets out a whoop and laughs, but you start again before he can say anything. “ _Tried_ , I said.”

Anthony’s laughter dies down quickly and he makes a quiet disappointed noise. “What? You don’t like him like that? Man, I was _sure-_ “

“Of course I do! What, do you think I’m blind or stupid or something?” you blurt out, immediately clamping a hand over your mouth, a furious blush spreading across your cheeks.

Thankfully, Mackie just busts out in more laughter. He’s laughing so hard he’s got to be doubled over and you can hear him slap his thigh on the other end. “I knew it! I _told_ him!” he crows. “So what happened then? Did you panic or something?” he asks, only slightly teasing, once his laughter settles down again.

“A damn firework happened and we smacked foreheads so hard I had a bruise for a week,” you pout, slouching in your seat as you doodle a storm cloud. Anthony chuckles at both the story and your sulking and you can imagine the way he’s probably shaking his head at you. “And then he apologized and said to forget it and now he’s not talking to me.”

“Damn,” Anthony mutters, sighing softly.

“Yeah,” you reply, echoing his sigh.

There’s a long silence where you’re both thinking. You’re mourning the loss of Sebastian’s friendship again as you continue to doodle over your shopping list. You’ll probably have to rewrite it by now, as you’re basically making it impossible to just glance at and read, which totally defeats half the purpose of the damn thing.

But then he asks, “So what’re you gonna do about it?”

You bark out a surprised laugh and sputter. “Me?” you ask. “What am _I_ gonna do about it? Nothing, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna wait and hope he’ll eventually start talking to me again and then I’m gonna keep pretending it never happened?”

“What the fuck are you talking about girl? Have you lost your damn mind? He _likes_ you.”

“Yeah, and in two months or six months or a year or, god forbid, longer, he’ll get sick of my insecure, clingy, fat ass and dump me and then we won’t be able to repair the damn friendship at all. I’m already finding out what losing him feels like and we weren’t even dating yet. I’m not doing it again dude. I won’t.”

“If you could find me a person on Earth more clingy than Sebastian Stan I’ll give you a damn award,” Anthony says, tone flat. “Gold plated. The more I learn about you the more I know you two are _perfect_ for each other. And shut up with all your self-hate. You’re beautiful, okay? Some guys – most even, if you wanna be pessimistic about it - might not like you for your body type, but Seb is _not_ one of those guys. I don’t make friends with _those_ guys, alright? So I’m gonna ask you again- What are you gonna do about it?”

Tears are starting to well up in your eyes and you’re gripping the pen in your hand so hard your knuckles are turning white, but you try to keep your voice even. “I’m not doing anything,” you say. “If we can go back to how things were I’ll consider it a goddamn blessing and leave it at that.”

“That is an oxymoron and also blasphemous,” Anthony teases you, trying to get you to laugh even though his tone sounds sad. You manage to huff out a weak laugh as you wipe your eyes and he sighs. “Fine,” he says, “I’ll drop it-“

“Thank you-“

“- _for now_. But we’re not done with this conversation. I’m not letting you both throw away what’s meant to be cuz you’re both scared and stubborn.”

You sigh and finally let the pen drop from your hand as you get up and start pacing again. “Whatever you say,” you mumble before changing the subject.

 

*

 

You’ve been home from work for all of ten minutes the next day, down to your underwear and your bra already half-off when there’s a knock on your door. You groan and sigh and stick your head out of the bedroom doorway, calling out a, “I’ll be right there!”

You slip your bra back on and pull on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top quickly before making your way out to the living room. You run a hand through your hair and sigh again as you yank open the door. A blush blooms on your cheeks instantly and your heart races as you force a smile and trying to make it seem as normal as possible as Sebastian stands in front of you, hands behind his back.

“Hey stranger,” you manage, voice softer than usual.

“Hey,” Seb replies, his voice quiet too, “You doing anything tonight?”

You suck in your bottom lip and rock on your heels a little, letting out a soft, thoughtful hum before shaking your head. “Nope,” you say. “Why? Did you, uh, wanna hang out?” Smooth. That totally didn’t sound desperate or anything at all. You are a class fucking act, as usual.

A smile spreads across Sebastian’s face and he pulls a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. Your favorite, at that. You can’t believe he remembered. The blush returns in full force as he holds the flowers out to you.

“For you. To apologize, you know, cuz I’ve kind of been an ass. Did you want to go grab something to eat?” he asks. “My treat. Just as friends, I mean. I just wanna treat you. To make up for- I wouldn’t put you on the spot like that. Sorry.” He laughs nervously and the smile is still on his face but it’s a little strained now.

“Oh, uh,” you stumble over your tongue, taking the flowers and taking a step back. “Yeah, uh, thanks. Let me, um, get changed. And put these in some water. Come on in, I’ll just be a sec.”

Sebastian steps into the living room and shuts the door behind himself as you hurry off to the kitchen, trying to find a vase to put the flowers in. You swear your mom got you one, insisting you had to have at least one vase in the house. For, ya know, all those suitors that would come knocking. You scoff quietly as you finally find it, knocking over a million mixing bowls as you tug it out from the back corner of the cabinet.

“Where are we going to eat?” you ask as you fill the vase up. “Like, should I just dress casual or is it a fancier place?”

“It’s just this little local place Mackie showed me,” Seb says, leaning against the counter and watching as you snip the ends of the flowers and stick them in the vase. “Nothing fancy, no worries.”

You flash him a smile that you hope doesn’t look as nervous as you feel and put the scissors away. “Okay, awesome,” you say. “Even better. I’ll be right back.” Then you rush off to your room. At least you can pick out a casual outfit a lot faster than a nice one, you think.

You somehow manage to fight the urge to change your outfit six times and instead go with the first thing you can find in your closet, stuffing your phone, wallet, and keys into your pockets before heading back out to the living room.

“Ready,” you say, just a little breathless from the mad scramble, and flash a nervous smile.

“You look great,” Sebastian says, grinning from ear to ear as he holds a hand out to you. “Let’s go.”

You make it to the restaurant and through the whole meal without a weird incident or awkward silence. It feels like nothing ever happened at all, like he  didn’t break your heart by almost kissing you and then basically totally ignoring you for a week and a half. You banter like you used to, joke around, tease each other. When he drops you off later you even make plans to hang out tomorrow. Everything’s good. Great, even, you think. He’s acting normal, you’re acting normal, things are normal again. Things are good, back to how they used to be. Normal you can do. Normal isn’t new or scary. Normal. Great. Good.

Good.


	6. Chapter 6

Things have been back to normal with Sebastian and you’ve been counting your damn blessings. It’s his Friday night to cook so you’re sitting at his kitchen table while some random foreign movie you’d picked from his collection plays in the other room just loud enough to be heard. You’re sitting in a comfortable silence, but there’s a set to his shoulders that you’ve come to learn means there’s something on his mind. You want desperately to ask him about it, but you’re so afraid to break this beautifully domestic routine you two have slipped into that you bite your tongue.

Thankfully, you don’t have to ask. As he sets a plate down in front of you and settles across the table from you with his own, he mutters, “So… um, can I ask you something doll?” Why does he seem so nervous? Oh god.

You feel your cheeks heating up, your heart starting to race. Your eyes go wide as you nod meekly. “Oh, uh, yeah. Anything Seb. What’s up?”

“I just,” Sebastian sighs a little, running a hand through his hair, “I have a favor to ask. A huge favor.”

Okay, a favor you can do. Geez. He made it seem like he was gonna ask you about… Well, nevermind. Your nerves start to calm a little as you push your food around on your plate. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.” You offer him an encouraging smile and take a bite.

He laughs and it’s almost bitter as he plays with his own food. “Don’t go making promises you can’t keep,” he teases you. “Seriously though, you can say no. I just.. Anthony bailed on me last minute and I know it’s short notice but… I’ve got this stupid picnic thing for work tomorrow, and he was supposed to come with me. But now I’m stuck going alone. Unless… you say yes?” He smiles hopefully, eyebrows raised.

You laugh and roll your eyes fondly. “Geez Seb, you really hate your co-workers that much?” you tease him. “You’re freakin’ out buddy. I thought you were gonna ask me to marry you for the insurance or something.”

He laughs harder and a blush blooms on his cheeks as he shakes his head. “No, nothing like that. I just know it’s really last minute and I hate to be _that guy_.”

“Yeah dude, of course I’ll go. You know I’m not doing anything.” You’re still chuckling as you pop another bite into your mouth.

“You’re the _best_.”

 

 

*

 

So that’s how you end up in a cute little summer dress with some strappy sandals and a matching purse (a _matching purse_ for fuck’s sake) sitting in the passenger seat of Sebastian’s car as it winds through the wooded roads of the local state park.

“So, am I gonna hafta fight some of your coworkers?” you ask, fidgeting with the hem of your dress and the bike shorts you’d thrown on under them. “Am I gonna regret this dress? It’s not easy to fight in a dress.”

Sebastian laughs and gives you a funny look as he glances at you. “What?” he asks. “What are you even talking about?”

“Well, I mean, you always say these guys are kind of douchebags. If anyone says any sexist shit around me I’m _not_ holding back.” You nod once, matter-of-factly.

“Well shit, guess I should have just brought Robert. At least he could have won any fights he picked,” Sebastian teases, smirking.

You gasp and pout, crossing your arms over your chest, feigning offense as he pulls into a parking spot. “Rude,” you mumble. “I could totally win a fight. And I’m _way_ better company than Robert.”

Seb laughs and gives you a _look_ as he rests his hand over your knee. “Of course you could babe,” he says, drawing a blush to your cheeks. “Whatever you say. And, alright, I gotta give you that one. You good to go?” he asks, squeezing your knee gently.

You huff out a breath and nod once, grabbing your purse from the floor. “Let’s go,” you say, flashing him a smile that’s only half-forced before you both get out into the hot summer air.

When you make it to the gazebo where everything’s set up, only about half the people are even here. Sebastian leads you around anyway, greeting his co-workers and introducing you to everyone. Most of them are douchebags in golf shorts with girls attached to their arms that are _way_ too good for them. Like, my dude,  you’re not even golfing. Ugh.

After making the socially required amount of small talk, you and Seb find a spot at one of the picnic tables a little ways away from the rest of the group.

“Sorry,” he says with a forced chuckle. “There are actually a couple people I work with that are really cool. They should, uh, probably be here soon. I hope.”

You laugh and shake your head. “It’s fine,” you say. “Your company is all I need,” you tease him, batting your lashes and resting your hand on his arm like you’re flirting in some fucking rom com.

He laughs and this time it’s loud and genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he takes your hand from his arm and clasps it between both of his. “Well, I appreciate the sentiment doll,” he says, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “I’m going to go get us some beers before you _completely_ lose it,” he teases with a wink.

You laugh loudly and swat at him playfully as he gets up. He dodges you with a victorious laugh. “You’re the worst!” you call after him, shaking your head as your giggles subside.

You pull out your phone, but before you can even check the time a small group of the girlfriends and wives form a cluster around you, grinning.

“You know, you two make such a cute couple!” one girl – Samantha? – coos.

“I’m so happy he finally found a girl that can make him smile like that,” another chimes in. What was her name? Lexie?

“Oh, oh, no,” you stumble, holding your hands up in defense. “No, we’re not a couple.” You laugh nervously, shaking your head. “Just friends, that’s all.”

They all exchange glances before giving you the same exact look. Geez, Stepford Wives much? They’re giving you the fucking creeps.

“Seriously?” one of them asks. Katie, you think.

Your cheeks are red again and you feel your eyes widen a little as you look at her. “Yeah, seriously.”

“You’ve got a hottie like Sebastian looking at you like he does and you’re not cashing in on it?”

“I- I really don’t think he- “ you start to stutter out, but you’re interrupted.

“Alright harpies, get back. Give the girl some breathing room.” A brunette comes to stand next to you, shooing them away with a shit-eating grin on her face. “Hi,” she says to you, extending a hand. “I’m Kat. Nice to meet you.”

The group of wives grumbles but they do back off. You peek at them retreating back to their husbands and see Seb heading your way with two beers in his hand and his arm wrapped around the shoulder of some kid. You’d peg him at twenty-one, _maybe_ twenty-two at oldest. He and Sebastian are talking low, heads bowed together as they walk.

You shake your head a little to clear the thoughts racing around it and force a smile, taking Kat’s hand and shaking. “Nice to meet you too.”

“So you’re the girl we’ve heard all about, huh?” she teases you with a wink.

You blush and open your mouth to say something witty, but you can’t come up with anything so you close it again.

“Kat, what have we told you about terrorizing strangers?” the kid with Sebastian calls out as they approach the table. He’s got a British accent and oh my god you just want to adopt him as the younger brother you never had. Like, can I take you to the zoo and buy you your first beer on your twenty-first birthday?

“Hey, I saved her from the harpies Thomas. And you are _not_ old enough to be talking to me like that,” she jokes, snatching a bottle from the young guy’s hand and walking around the table to sit down.

“Here you go babe,” Seb says, handing you a beer as he slips back onto the bench next to you.

“Thanks,” you murmur, watching his co-workers’ banter with an amused grin on your face.

“Sooo, these are the two I was telling you about,” Seb goes on, a wry smile on his face as he rests his free hand on your knee under the table.

The day goes surprisingly well. Tom is sweet and funny and Kat is absolutely hilarious. The food is good and your anxiety doesn’t really flare up after the first hour or so. It’s a beautiful summer day and you find yourself grateful that Anthony bailed. You’d be hard pressed to have found a better way to have spent it. By the time sunset rolls around you’re Facebook friends with even more of Seb’s friends and as he drives home you can’t help but muse over this happy little family he’s built and how readily they’re all accepting you into it.

Sebastian glances at you as he drives down your street and you must have a stupid grin on your face because he chuckles and reaches out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “What’s up?” he asks you.

“Just thinking,” you reply, stretching a little as he pulls into his driveway. “You know, I always wanted to have a group of friends like you’ve got,” you go on as both of you get out and start heading to your door.

“Well, now you do,” Seb replies, taking your hand in his as you walk across both of your lawns. “Everyone who meets you falls in love with you, ya know.”

You laugh and roll your eyes, trying to ignore yet another blush flooding your cheeks. “Wow Seb, you know it’s so weird to talk to yourself like that.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes, nudging you playfully. “Shut up,” he teases. There’s a tension in his shoulders that’s been lingering for a few hours now and you can feel his pulse racing through his palm.

You stop in front of your door and pull your keys out of your purse, but don’t let go of his hand. “Did you, uh, want to come in?” you ask him. “Have one last drink and unwind? I probably have some ice cream or something, and I’m sure you’d fit into a pair of my basketball shorts.”

Sebastian’s face suddenly gets serious and he takes your other hand in his free one. “Sure,” he says, avoiding your eyes. “That sounds great. But, uh, I’ve gotta, um… First I’ve gotta say something.”

You furrow your brow and your heart starts to race too as you study his face. “Sure Seb. Everything okay? Did I do something?”

Seb huffs out a nervous laugh and shakes his head. “No, no, you’re fine. You’re perfect. I just…” he finally looks up and meets your eyes and butterflies flutter in your stomach. “So earlier, the guys were all asking if you were my girl and the girls were asking how long we’d been together and oh my _god_ you should have heard them when I told them we weren’t. They didn’t believe me,” he rambles, another nervous laugh tumbling from his lips.

“Yeah, the girls attacked me too,” you joke, squeezing his hands gently, urging him on.

“Well, Tom, he said – and, god, he’s such a kid,” he laughs again. “Tom was nagging me and, well- “ he cuts off, shaking his head. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and when he meets yours again your stomach does a flip. “Look, what I’m trying to say is… I don’t _want_ to forget about how I almost kissed you at Mackie’s party.  I don’t want to have to tell people we’re just friends. I _really_ like you, and I think you like me too.” You can feel a grin spreading across your face even though you can hardly breathe and he laughs softly. “I feel like I’m in high school again, god.”

“Sebastian,” you say slowly, trying like hell not to bounce on your heels (this is _not_ high school damnit), “are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

Seb blushes and it is a goddamn gift and you can’t help but giggle as he nods. “If I say yes, do I get to kiss you?” he teases.

“Only if you promise not to headbutt me again,” you quip right back.

Sebastian laughs and mutters, “Oh my god, shut up,” before tugging you close and pressing a kiss to your lips.


	7. Chapter 7

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he’d asked you, breathless, after you’d been making out on your couch like teenagers for what felt like hours.

“Well, I dunno,” you had started. “There’s this guy I’m kinda seeing - it’s all very new you know - and I’m hoping he’ll ask me on a date,” you had teased, a smirk on your lips even as your heart had threatened to thump right out of your chest.

Sebastian had pulled you close with an arm around the small of your back and looked down into your eyes, an amused grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, and said, “Well, if he doesn’t work up the nerve, maybe you could come by my place instead. I can make you dinner, dessert, we can put on a movie, maybe have some wine…” He’d trailed off, his hand coming up to cup your cheek.

“Sounds great,” you’d replied, voice just above a whisper. And then the talking stopped because he was kissing you again and holy shit can that man kiss.

After he left, you’d spent the rest of the night in a group chat with all your new female friends freaking out. Hell, you’d spent the morning freaking out. Your hands shaking, heart racing, barely believing this was all even real, you’d tried on at least ten different outfits and sent pictures of all of them, hoping their feedback would help. (It didn’t, they told you how amazing they all were and couldn’t decide which was the best.)

You still can’t shake the nerves, still don’t believe Sebastian could actually like you, as you approach his door that evening clad in your most comfortable, adorable sundress. Your hands still shake as you knock on the door once and let yourself in. Your heart races as you call out a timid, “Hey.”

“I’m in the kitchen,” Sebastian calls back as you close the door behind yourself, kicking off your flip flops. “Make yourself at home babe. Dinner’s almost done.”

You make your way into the kitchen and your heart jumps into your throat at the sight in front of you. Sebastian’s dressed up too, in a nice pair of black jeans and button up shirt that’s barely half buttoned, his cheeks pink from the heat of the stove, hair fluffy and curly and pushed back out of his face, a smile on his lips as he works his way around the kitchen.

“Anything I can do to help?” you ask, blushing as you catch yourself staring.

Seb smiles over his shoulder and shakes his head. “Just take a seat,” he says. “You look amazing.”

“Could say the same about you,” you reply, allowing yourself to stare for just another brief moment as you hesitate in the doorway.

Everything feels so bizarre, so surreal. It feels like everything is the same and like everything has changed all at once. It feels so natural, but at the same time you’re at a loss for what to do, how to act. Should you go give him a hug? A kiss? Should you get out the wine? He _has_ set out glasses, and you would have as his friend. You’re his _girlfriend_ now, but what does that mean? How does that change things?

Sebastian pads bare feet across the linoleum, concern in his eyes even as his smile doesn’t falter. “Everything okay?” he asks, leaning down to steal a kiss. And even as your heart flutters like butterfly wings, the tension leaves your shoulders.

“Yeah,” you reply, shaking yourself from your thoughts. You find yourself smiling as you lean up and press a soft and sweet kiss to his lips. “I’ll get the wine.”

Sebastian brushes a kiss against your forehead before turning back to the food on the stove. “I’ve got strawberry shortcake for dessert,” he says as he turns off burners and piles food into bowls and on plates.

“Sounds good to me,” you say, picking out a bottle of wine from his small collection. You bring it to the table and fill the glasses as he sets the food on the table. “Wow, look at that plating,” you tease him with a wink. “Someone’s been watching too much Food Network.”

“I watch it with you!” he quips, laughing as you bust out in a fit of giggles. “So if anyone’s been watching too much Food Network, it’s you doll,” he teases right back, pulling your chair out for you.

Your laughter dies down as you sit down and he pushes you in before settling in across from you. Things feel more normal as you banter over dinner and chat about everything from the new discovery NASA made to the new book his favorite author is putting out. After dinner and dessert you insist on taking care of the dishes while he turns on the movie.

It’s just a couple minutes of alone time while you finish the last plate and refill both of your glasses, but it allows you to take a few deep breaths and settle your nerves. You grab the glasses and when you walk into the living room Sebastian’s turned on one of his foreign movies.

“Italian this time, huh?” you tease him as you settle onto the couch next to him, handing him his glass.

“I can change it if you want,” he says, slipping his free arm around your shoulders.

“No, no, this is fine,” you reply with a smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Film is a love you both share and you debate over things like which scenes are sets and which are filmed on location as you watch. Before you know it your glasses are empty and discarded on the coffee table and the movie is half-way over. You’re feeling just the slightest hint of a buzz, just enough to help you relax, and you really think this first date has been a success. Maybe you can do this, maybe things are going to work out for once. Maybe this shift in your relationship can be an easy one. Maybe-

A flush spreads across your cheeks and down your chest as the scene changes in the movie and suddenly you’re ripped from your thoughts by bodies writhing on a bed and moans filling Sebastian’s living room.

“Fut!” Sebastian shouts, scrambling for the remote. “Căcat! I’m so sorry,” he mutters, turning pink himself as he hits fast-forward and nothing happens except the moans getting louder and movement more frantic on screen. “Shit, I totally forgot that scene was in there.” He scrambles for the other remote and manages to pause it.

You swallow hard and hope he doesn’t notice the subtle way you press your thighs together, your toes curling against the carpet. “It’s okay,” you mumble, forcing a laugh from your chest. It sounds nervous as it bubbles up from your throat. “You know, girls who don’t know you like I do might think you did this on purpose,” you try to tease him, but your voice is strained.

His eyes look panicked as his head snaps to look at you, instinctively reaching a hand out and resting it on your knee. “I swear to god I didn’t,” he says, his thumb rubbing over your skin reassuringly. You bite back a whimper and nod, resting your hand over his to stop his movements. He gives you a curious, intrigued look, but when he looks like he’s going to speak again you cut him off.

“I know,” you assure him, squirming just slightly under his touch, his hand like fire against your skin. He has to have noticed. “I know you wouldn’t do that. I was kidding Seb. Don’t worry about it.”

Sebastian studies your face for a moment and you’re sure he can feel your pulse racing as he hesitantly asks, “Should… should I… leave it on?”

Your breath hitches for just a second and you try to school your expression, try for nonchalance as you shrug. “I mean, it’s up to you,” you manage, lifting your hand from his and tugging the hem of your dress back down from where it had bunched almost all the way up your thighs. “We’re both adults here, I think we can survive a sex scene. Or you can just fast forward through it, if you want. No shame in that either. It’s up to you,” you ramble, fidgeting with the fabric between your fingers as you refuse to look at him.

Sebastian eyes you for another moment before pressing play, noting the way the pink of your cheeks turns to crimson. He watches you as you stare at the row of DVDs on the shelf under his television, trying desperately to keep your breath even and your body still while the scene plays out along the edge of your vision.

The pair on the screen are getting close to their big dramatic finish and you feel Sebastian’s hand start to slide up your thigh questioningly. This time you can’t stop the quiet whimper from slipping past your lips as his fingers dip just under the hem of your dress.

“Is this okay?” Seb asks, his voice low and rough now and it sends a shiver down your spine.

Your hands tremble as you smooth the over the fabric, nodding slightly as you swallow hard. “Y-yeah, yeah, it’s okay,” you mutter, still refusing to look at either the screen or Sebastian.

Sebastian shifts so he’s facing you now, his hand sliding further up your thigh as he leans forward to whisper in your ear, “If it stops being okay, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

Somehow you manage another meek nod, resting one hand on his knee and the other dropping to the couch cushion next to your thigh.

Just as the couple on screen tumble, screaming, into orgasm, Sebastian presses a kiss behind your ear and his hand slips between your legs, gently massaging your inner thigh. Your head tips back, eyes fluttering shut as a moan slips past your lips. Your hands are still trembling from the ecstasy and the nerves, from the self-consciousness flooding your chest and the rush at being touched like this again for the first time in what feels like forever.

“God you’re beautiful,” he mumbles, taking advantage of your position to lean forward and suck a mark into your collarbone, his fingers teasing along the edge of your panties.

“Sebastian,” you gasp, your own hand sliding up his thigh, your fingers curling against the fabric as you hesitate just below his lap.

“Shhh baby, I’ve got you,” he breathes, nipping and sucking up your neck as he teases along your folds through the thin fabric. “Fuck, you’re so wet.” He moans into your ear as his free hand takes yours and moves it over his lap, pressing it against the hard-on straining against his jeans. “You think we should move this to the bedroom?”

A tremor runs through you at his words and you nod, palming his cock through the fabric. “God, yes,” you breath.

“C’mon baby,” he pauses the movie again as he stands up, holding a hand out to you.

Your hand shakes as you take his, as he leads you back to his room. The whole thing feels familiar and you’re not sure if that makes it better or worse. But before you know it he’s closing the door as you climb up onto the bed, that flush back on your cheeks as you tug at the hem of your dress again.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Sebastian asks, climbing up onto the bed and nudging himself between your legs. “If we’re goin’ too fast, just let me know. It’s okay. We can just make out a little and grind like teenagers and then you can spend the night, no funny business if you don’t wanna yet.” His hands trail along your thighs as he talks and he leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

“No, I want to,” you breathe when you part, your fists balled in the fabric of your dress. “It’s just…” Your blush deepens as you trail off, looking away.

Seb grips your chin and gently forces you to meet his eyes. “It’s just what baby? You can talk to me.”

You sigh and feel tears stinging your eyes, threatening to fall. “It’s just… I haven’t… _done this_ in a while and- and… I’m not like Scarlet or Hayley or any of your friends, you know? I’m not skinny, I’m not pretty. I look fine in clothes, yeah, sure, whatever. But-“

“Hey,” Sebastian’s eyes soften as he cups your cheek, “you’re _beautiful_. And so what if you’re not skinny? You’re gorgeous babe. You don’t have to have a body like Scarlet or Hayley or any of them to be sexy or pretty or whatever. You’re _amazing_. And, hey, I’ve seen you in a bikini,” his tone lightens as he gently pushes you onto your back, hovering over you, “and what do you always say about bikinis?”

“They’re basically the same thing as underwear and a bra,” you mutter, managing a wet laugh as a few stray tears roll down your temples.

“So, by your standards, I’ve already seen you pretty close to naked, right?” he laughs, one hand coming up to wipe your tears away. “And I think you’re beautiful, and I want you so fuckin’ bad baby.” He grinds his hips against yours slowly and you can’t help but moan as the line of his hard cock presses against your heat. “So if you think we’re moving too fast you go ahead and stop me,” he goes on, “but if you’re just worried about when I see you naked- Well, you don’t have a thing to worry about. Okay?”

You give a little nod as you wrap your arms loosely around his neck, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. He bites gently at your bottom lip and grinds his hips into yours again, drawing a soft moan from you.

“Still okay?” Seb asks before moving his lips along your jaw and down the side of your neck, his free hand sliding up your inner thigh.

“Y-Yeah,” you breathe, letting your head tip back just a little as he works his way down your body.

He hooks his fingers under the waistband your panties, pulling them down as he goes, and when he starts pressing hot kisses up your inner thigh your dress is still on, rucked up around your waist, and it makes you feel naughty in the best way. Your hands are shaking again and you’re sure you’re blushing as Sebastian hooks your legs over his shoulders.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he mutters again, looking up at your reverently as he dips a finger between your folds, circling your entrance teasingly and drawing a soft whimper from you. “Have I told you that yet today?” he asks, a smirk on his lips as he pushes the finger inside of you.

You moan and squirm, your back arching just slightly as you manage to huff out a laugh. “Once or twice,” you breathe, head tipping back and another moan pulling itself from your throat as he starts to thrust his finger inside of you slowly. “God Sebastian,” you gasp.

“Feel good baby?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh as he adds a second finger inside of you, refusing to speed up his pace.

“Fuck, yes, god yes,” you babble, a shudder running up your spine. “Fuck!” you moan loudly, your muscles clenching around his fingers as he curls them up and presses right against your spot. “Jesus,” you pant.

“Right there?” he chuckles, kissing your inner thigh again as he curls his fingers again, brushing right over your spot again. You whimper and nod as you fist your hands in the sheets and, god, who knew Sebastian would be such a fucking tease? He’s barely done anything and you’re already a panting, trembling mess for him.

“Sebastian please,” you breathe, squirming as he teases you.

“You want more?” he asks with a smirk, fingers hitting that spot inside you with every slow, purposeful thrust. You whimper again and manage a nod, your toes curling as you grind down onto his fingers. “Alright, alright, shhhh baby, I’ve got you,” he coos, and then his head’s between your legs and his tongue’s on your clit and you swear you see stars.

“Oh god!” you gasp, gripping the sheets tighter as your legs fall open wider. A string of curses leaves your mouth and makes him chuckle as he adds a third finger and speeds up his movements, sucking and nipping gently at your clit.

You whimper as he pulls his fingers out and he chuckles again. “Love the sounds you make for me,” he says, moving his fingers up to tease your clit as his head dips down to lick teasingly over your entrance. “Fuck,” he moans, “you taste so good sweetheart.” And then before you can even blush his tongue’s pressing inside of you.

“Jesus Christ,” you moan, back arching further as you squirm under him, your toes curling harder. His tongue works quickly, lapping at your entrance and fucking in and out of you as you feel yourself starting to come apart.

“Fuck! Seb, Seb…” you pant, reaching down and pressing at his shoulders, trying weakly to push him back. “Seb, stop, I’m gonna… fuck, I’m so close… I wanna- wanna… with you…”

He pulls back just slightly, just enough to look up at you. "Shhh sweetheart," he coos, his fingers still circling your clit, "it's okay baby. Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you. Gonna make you come again, make you come all over my hard cock." And then he dips his head down and redoubles his efforts and that combined with his words sends you screaming over the edge.

He kisses along your hip and presses fingers back inside of you, murmuring praise against your skin as he works you through your orgasm.

“Fuck…” you breathe as you start to come down, squirming as he keeps fingering you even as you start to become overstimulated. You whine out his name as you finally work up the nerve to glance down at him. “Seb, mmmm fuck, c’mon,” you mumble, pushing half-heartedly at his arm. “Let me return the favor.”

He chuckles and shakes his head as he sits back on his heels, pressing up against your spot roughly just once, drawing a moan from you and making you writhe against the sheets. “You think I wasn’t serious about making you come on my cock?” he asks, finally slipping his fingers from your sensitive pussy to tug his shirt over his head.

You press your thighs together and squirm as you meet his eyes, blushing and nodding a little. “Kinda thought you were just saying it to get me off,” you admit, biting your lip as you let your eyes travel down his chest. You can’t help but moan at the sight of his cock straining in his jeans. “Fuck,” you breathe.

“Like what you see?” he teases, but you can sense just a hint of doubt in his voice.

“You’re like a god,” you mumble, pushing yourself up and running your hands down his chest. “So yes, I like what I see,” you laugh, meeting his eyes.

He chuckles and blushes, shaking his head as he takes the hem of your dress in his hands. “Well I can’t see nearly enough of you,” he says, tugging your dress up and off, tossing it across the room.

“You’re deflecting,” you tease him, palming his cock through his jeans.

He laughs softly around a moan, crowding into your space to reach around and unhook your bra. “Maybe,” he breathes, pressing a heated kiss to your lips.

You moan into his mouth and your fingers quickly set to work on the button and zipper of his jeans. It’s like suddenly your nerves are gone. You can’t get his clothes off fast enough and if that means him seeing you naked too then whatever. He returns the moan as you push his pants and boxers down and his cock springs free.

“Christ,” you breathe, subconsciously licking your lips as he wiggles out of the last of his clothing.

“Likewise,” he chuckles, and then he’s pushing you onto your back again and his mouth is on yours, hot and wet as your tongues slide together.

You slide a hand down his chest and curl your fingers around his length and he groans into your mouth, his hips bucking into your hand. You echo his noise as you stroke him slowly, wetness pooling between your legs again.

He pushes two fingers into you again and you clench around them, whimpering softly as you arch your back. “Seb,” you gasp, head tipping back. “Seb please, please, need you so bad.”

Sebastian curses in Romanian and nods once, kissing and sucking down your neck as he slips his fingers from your wet cunt. He gently pushes your hand away and lets his eyes slip shut momentarily as he takes himself in his hand, lining himself up at your entrance.

“Ready?” he asks as you moan, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Yeah,” you breathe, nodding, “Yeah, please Sebastian, please.”

He laces his fingers with yours, pinning your hands above your head as he slowly pushes into you. You gasp quietly, your breath catching in your throat, your back arching as you feel his hard cock stretching you wide. He lets go of your hands as he leans over you, sucking and biting along your neck and collarbone, panting against your skin as he slowly fills you.

“Fuck,” he breathes against your ear as you whimper beneath him, legs wrapping tighter around his waist and fingers tangling in his hair. “You feel so fucking good,” he goes on, grinding his hips into yours slowly once he’s fully inside of you.

“Sebastian, please…” you whimper again, your muscles clenching around his hard cock as you roll your hips into his and grip tightly at his shoulders.

He groans and nuzzles into the crook of your neck. “Fuck…” he mutters again. “Well, I guess, since you asked so nicely,” he teases, breathless, and bites down on your neck, sucking hard at the skin as pulls his hips back and slams back into you.

You whimper and drag your nails down his back, your head tipping back as you clench around his cock again.

“Still good?” he asks, grinding his hips into yours as he pulls back just enough to look down at you.

“God yes,” you breathe, nodding, and that’s all the confirmation he needs.

He starts biting and sucking at your neck again, working at leaving a mark. All pretense gone, his hips set a punishing pace now as he chases his climax and all you can do is moan and squirm under him as you meet his thrusts. Before long you’re whimpering, writhing under him as you grip desperately at his back.

“Fuck…” you manage to gasp out, “fuck Seb…. I’m so close…”

“God, me too,” he moans, shifting his hips so his cock drags against your spot with every thrust.

Your nails bite into his shoulders and your legs tighten around his waist. He crushes his lips against yours, swallowing your moans as you come again. He groans into your mouth as your cunt squeezes and pulses around his dick and pulls him over the edge with you. You can’t help but moan again as you feel him come inside of you, his hips stuttering and grinding into yours as he does.

You hold him tight and he kisses you softly, over and over again as your movements slow and finally he slumps over you, both of you panting and breathless.

“Jesus…” you mumble between kisses, rubbing your fingers gently over what you’re sure is now raw skin on his back.

“Fuck,” he breathes, a hand coming up to stroke your hair. “You okay?”

“God, is that even a question?” you ask, chuckling, as you squirm under him a little. “Better than okay, jesus. Are _you_ okay?”

“Better than okay pretty much sums it up,” he replies, laughing. “You wanna go take a shower?” he asks, pushing himself up onto an elbow to look down at you.

“Only if you’re planning on joining me,” you blush a little even as you smirk up at him.

“Definitely,” he laughs. He groans softly as his softening dick slips out of you and he crawls off the bed. He blushes and laughs again, holding out and hand and looking at you expectantly, but you can’t take your eyes off of him. “What?” he asks. You just can’t believe how fucking lucky you are. Christ.

“Nothing,” you chuckle and shake your head, taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet.

“Maybe after, I’ll get us some of that shortcake and we can finish the movie,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you to the bathroom. “Sound good?” he asks, glancing over to you.

“Oral _and_ shortcake?” you tease him, laughing. “You really know how to spoil a girl Seb.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally caved and wrote some smut! Hope you guys liked it!! It is super difficult to write so I hope it wasn't too bad! lol Thank you for reading!<3


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian lets out a content hum as you collapse on top of him, still panting. He cards his fingers through your hair and you pepper his neck and shoulder and jaw with kisses.

“Trying to get me ready for round two?” he teases, tipping his head and letting his eyes drift shut.

“You mean round three?” you tease right back, pulling back just enough to look down at him.

He cracks an eye open, a mischievous grin on his face as he peers up at you. “That’s right,” he says, rolling you over so he’s on top of you now, hovering over you as he pins you to the bed, “I wasn’t counting after breakfast this morning.”

You giggle and reach up, wrapping your arms around his neck and trying to tug him down. “I think I’d rather have a shower right about now,” you say, pushing a strand of sweaty hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear. “Then maybe we can make negotiations on a round three.”

Seb finally leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, slow and passionate, and when he pulls back he grins down at you. “Sounds like a plan,” he says before climbing off the bed. He holds a hand out and you take it, pulling yourself up.

You follow him into the bathroom and lean against the counter as he turns the shower on and adjusts the temperature. You shamelessly stare at his ass, a smirk on your face. Hey, you’re allowed now and you’re going to take full advantage of that.

“Enjoying the view?” he teases you. And when you let out an appreciative hum he wiggles his ass a little, making you giggle.

Your smirk falters just a little when he turns to you and lets his eyes rake along your body, a grin on his face. You feel your cheeks turning pink and rush forward, gently shoving at him. “Alright, enough of _that_. Let’s go loverboy,” you say with a nervous laugh.

Seb laughs loudly and rolls his eyes fondly, grabbing your hands as you push him into the shower and tugging you in after him. “You ready for dinner yet?” he asks you, changing the subject.

You giggle as he pulls you into his arms under the warm spray of water, leaning up and stealing a quick kiss. “I’d say we’ve worked up quite an appetite,” you say, resting your hands on his chest.

The shower is quick and sweet with Seb insisting on washing you. “What can I say? I just can’t keep my hands off you,” he says with a cheeky little wink. Of course, you return the favor. “Any excuse to touch those abs, right?” you tease him.

You get out while he’s rinsing and as you start drying off his phone starts ringing.

“Oh, babe, your phone,” you peek your head back into the shower to tell him.

“Can you go grab it for me?” he asks, wiping water from his eyes.

“Yeah,” you reply before running back out to the room, hoping to catch it before it goes to voicemail. You hear the water turn off and the shower curtain rattle as he gets out. You grab the phone and a stupid grin crosses your face. The contact name is “mama” and it’s a picture of them, arms around each other. Adorable. You haven’t met his mom yet, and he doesn’t talk about her or his past or family at all for that matter much, but you can tell they’re close.

“It’s your mom!” you call out as you run back into the bathroom, holding the device out to him.

“Thanks babe,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he hits answer on what’s gotta be the last possible ring. “Alo mama,” he chimes as he runs the towel over the side of his head.

You can’t help but grin at how adorable he is, watching him as you dry yourself off. That is, until his smile falls and he starts firing off rapid-fire Romanian, fear in his eyes.

He starts pacing, his towel dropped to the floor and forgotten. You don’t want to say anything, to distract him, but you’re wondering what has him so freaked out and you want to help comfort him. Shit, what could be wrong? The horrible scenarios start running through your mind. You make your way over to him and wrap your towel and arms around him from behind, hugging him tight and resting your head between his shoulder blades as he listens to his mom on the other end of the conversation.

He stills finally and rests his free hand lightly over yours, squeezing it gently as he starts speaking in Romanian again. He sounds a little more calm, at least, though not exactly soothed. You lace your fingers with his and squeeze him tight, planting soft kisses across his shoulders as the conversation goes on. 

After another long moment he’s seemed to have almost calmed down completely so you finally peel yourself from his body, coming around to press a kiss to his cheek before you wander into the bedroom to slip into some leggings that will be comfortable enough to fall asleep in later and a big baggy v-neck.

You settle on the bed, browsing through Instagram as you wait for him to finish up on the phone. Based on his tone, it sounds like something bad had happened and, while you want to go start cooking for him, to put on a movie and hold him in your arms until he fees okay again, you know that might mean he has to leave.

And if that’s the case, you want to go with him. More than anything, you want to be there for him. You don’t want him to have to drive himself in this state and whatever’s waiting for him, you don’t want him to have to face it alone. But you don’t want to be pushy or seem needy or nosey, and for now you’ll just have to wait anyway, so shut up you stupid brain.

You’re lost in your own head when he finally comes out of the bathroom, your towel wrapped around his waist and his phone in his hand at his side. Your head snaps up and you offer a half-smile, pushing yourself to the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” you coo, standing up and wrapping your arms loosely around his neck as he approaches you. “Everything okay?”

“My, uh,” he brings a hand up to rub at his eye, run through his hair, “my step-dad’s in the hospital.”

“Shit babe,” you hiss, taking his shaking hands in yours and squeezing gently. “Is he okay? What happened?”

“It’s, uh… It’s a long story,” he says, still in a little bit of shock as he shakes his head. “But, uh, I, um,” he licks his lips, “I’ve gotta go down to the hospital. See him, check on my ma.”

You nod quickly, your chest tightening. “Yeah Seb, yeah. Of course,” you mutter, squeezing his hands again. “Just, just… drive safe, okay? I’ll just head home and you can just text me. Let me know you got there safe, and when you get home safe, okay? I don’t care how late it is. Or you can just come over. I mean it, I don’t care how late it is,” you ramble.

Sebastian bounces on his feet anxiously. It looks like he’s barely heard you, but he gives a small nod. He licks his lips again and squeezes your hand back, hesitating in that way he does when the gears in his head are turning, when he has something he wants to say but can’t quite bring himself to. But you don’t want to push, so you just lean up on your toes and press a soft kiss to his lips.

It seems to shake him from his thoughts and he looks into your eyes. He hesitates for just another second before bringing a hand up to cup your cheek and asking, “Do you think – geez, I know it’s a huge imposition, and you don’t have to say yes, don’t feel obligated to – do you think you could go to the hospital with me?”

“Are you sure Seb?” you ask, eyes going wide. “I don’t mind – of course I don’t babe – I just- I haven’t met your mom yet, even as your friend, and-“

“I’m sure sweetheart,” he says, cutting off the horrible thought spiral you’d started to go down. “You’re my best friend and my best girl. And, anyway, I don’t know if I trust myself to drive right now.” He huffs out a weak laugh, then adds, “Plus, I know you’ll make sure I take care of myself. Like getting that dinner I won’t get to make for you now that I’ll definitely forget about the second I get there.”

You chuckle and nod, leaning up to kiss him again. “Well when you put it like that,” you joke, trying to lift his spirits, “of course Sebastian. Of course. Let’s go.”

He throws on some sweats and a t-shirt while you grab a hoodie for each of you and throw both of your phone chargers in your bag. You check his locks as you leave and then, barely five minutes later, you’re hopping into your car and heading for the hospital.

“My step-dad has Alzheimer’s,” he says as you drive, running a hand through his hair with a sigh.

You frown and glance over at him briefly. “I’m sorry,” you say, reaching a hand out and resting it on his knee. “No one should have to go through something like that.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Seb sighs again, resting a hand over yours, mindlessly brushing his fingers along your knuckles. “I guess he was out of it and fell down the stairs or something,” he explains, his free hand clenching into a fist. “Mom didn’t know much when she called, so we’ll see.”

 

He reaches for your hand the second you rush through the hospital doors, lacing your fingers and squeezing tightly. On the elevator he taps his foot impatiently, and then rushes out the doors the second they open on the fourth floor. He knows exactly where he’s going as he leads you to the waiting room.

There are a few people sitting around looking nervous and sad and you’re reminded how much you dislike being in hospitals. Sebastian is leading you toward a woman at a table who’s very focused on whatever she’s doing on her phone and suddenly it hits you. You’re going to be meeting his mom. You’ve barely been dating over a month and you’re going to meet his mom. In the midst of what appears to be a family crisis. Fuck.

“Mama,” Sebastian calls out as you both approach her, letting go of your hand.

“Sebastian,” she says, surprise on her face as she stands and pulls him into a hug. “Ți-am spus să nu vii.” You’re not sure what it means, but you recognize the scolding mother voice in any language.

Seb throws out his arms as he pulls back from the hug. “Ce vrei sa spui ‘Ți-am spus să nu vii’?” he argues. “How could I not come? Is he okay? Are _you_ okay?” he rambles in English this time.

You just stand back, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, unsure of what to do and feeling just a little uncomfortable and still a lot nervous as you watch them.

“Este bine, sunt bine,” she waves her hands at him. “He’s in surgery now. To fix a broken hip.” Her English is heavily accented and she gestures as she talks just like Sebastian tends to do and you can’t help but smile as you notice all the little similarities between them. God, he must be such a momma’s boy. How cute. “They’re going to keep him overnight to keep an eye on his head. Now, who is this gorgeous young lady you have with you here?”

You blush as Sebastian grins from ear to ear, reaching out for you. “Ma, this is my girlfriend,” he says as you step forward and shyly take his outstretched hand.

“So this is the woman I’ve been hearing so much about?” she coos, a smile on her face almost as wide as Sebastian’s. Oh yeah, they’re close.

“Oh geez,” you huff out on a nervous laugh, nudging Seb gently. You can feel your cheeks burning red. You’re starting to wonder if he’d sent her pictures of the two of you, if he’d shown her the selfies of you he saves from your snapchats while he was having lunch with her one day.

Sebastian laughs and nudges you back before leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “This is her,” he confirms.

“It’s very nice to meet you ma’am,” you stutter out, letting go of Seb’s hand to hold yours out to shake.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you too,” she says, pulling you into a hug instead. “And you can call me Georgetta, or mom if you want,” she says with a little wink as she lets you go.

 

Not long after you get there, one of the doctors comes by with an update. Sebastian’s step-dad is out of surgery and stable and should wake up in a little while. In the meantime, the three of you grab dinner down at the cafeteria. It’s better than you had anticipated and Georgetta is great. She’s smart and funny and nice and caring and doesn’t grill you like some moms might. Though you do get the distinction she’s putting some kind of heat on Seb whenever they go off on a tangent in Romanian together.

After you eat you go back up to the fourth floor. You wait outside the room while they go check on Sebastian’s step-dad, but the visit doesn’t last long. Georgetta steps out of the room to say her goodbyes and then is shoving Sebastian’s shoulders and insisting he go home and sleep in his own bed. “I’ll call you when we have any updates,” she says. “Now go.” So you pile a sleepy Sebastian into his car and drive back to his place.

“So what’d you think of my mom?” Sebastian asks as he’s stripping down to his boxers in his room.

“I love her,” you say with a quiet chuckle. You dig out a pair of pajama pants that you’ve started keeping in Sebastian’s PJ drawer and change into those, starting to feel a little suffocated by the leggings.

“I’m glad,” Seb smiles at you from where he’s settled in under the covers, ready for bed. You can’t help he goofy smile that spreads across your face. God he looks so adorable like this. You flick off the lights and snuggle up next to him as he rambles on, “I knew you guys would get along. I can only imagine once it’s under better circumstances. You guys makin’ Christmas cookies together or somethin’. I can’t wait.”

You blush at the prospect of spending the holidays with his family and the fact that he’s clearly already thinking about things like that. Instead you say, “You two seem really close.”

Seb chuckles and pulls you close with an arm around your waist, the other tucked under your head. “Yeah,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I guess that’ll happen when you flee communist dictators together, huh? The family that escapes together stays together or something like that,” he giggles a little.

But your eyes go wide in the dark. “When you _what_?” you ask, your hands balling against his chest. You can’t even imagine….

“Yeah, when I was little. We fled to Austria and lived there for 4 years and then my mom married Anthony and we moved here,” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.

You let out a little huff of a sigh and kiss him again softly before nuzzling into his chest. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” you tell him. It’s amazing, you think, that he could go through something like that and come out of it as kind and genuine as he is. “You know you can tell me about it,” you add. “If you ever need to talk about it.”

“Maybe some other time,” he whispers, half-asleep and burying his face in your hair. “Right now I’m too tired. G’night baby. Sleep good. I love you.”

And your heart stops.


	9. Chapter 9

It takes you _ages_ to fall asleep after Seb drops the L bomb, and when you wake up you feel even less rested than when you were tossing and turning hours ago.

Sebastian, on the other hand, wakes up looking like he’s never slept better in his life. (Which, hey, after what he told you about his childhood last night, he might not have.)

“You look like you slept well,” you say softly, letting your eyes drop shut again as you yawn and stretch.

“You look like you slept like shit,” Seb teases you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You snort and open your eyes just to roll them at him. “Gee, thanks babe,” you snipe, swatting at his hip as you steal a kiss.

“You’re very welcome,” he jokes, swatting your ass playfully. But then his expression softens and he pulls you close, kissing your lips tenderly. “Seriously though,” he says, “is everything okay? Did you have a nightmare or something?”

Your brow furrows just slightly as you tuck yourself under his chin. “No, no nightmare,” you say. Does he not remember? Is that seriously what’s going on here? Because if so, that is just _not_ fair. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he regrets saying it and he’s pretending he doesn’t remember so he doesn’t have to talk about it, hoping you didn’t hear or something. Maybe-

“You sure you’re okay doll?” Seb asks you, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. His brow is furrowed in concern now as his thumb rubs along your cheek gently.

The touch shakes you from your ever-spiraling thoughts and you laugh softly (if not a little nervously), forcing a genuine smile to your face and leaning into his touch. “I should be asking _you_ that,” you tease him, turning to kiss the palm of his hand.

Sebastian chuckles and pokes the tip of your nose with his thumb. “I’m fine,” he says, then he leans forward to steal one last kiss before sitting up. “I should call my mom though.”

You let out a little hum as you stretch, then sit up and wrap your arms around his waist where he’s now sitting at the edge of the bed. “Okay,” you breathe into his ear sleepily. You press a chaste kiss to his neck and nuzzle into the warmth of his skin, mumbling, “I’m gonna go make breakfast while you do that.”

He opens his mouth to protest but you just cover his mouth with your hand, laughing, and press a kiss to his cheek. “Let me take care of you,” you say firmly but playfully, then finally climb around him and off the bed.

“ _Fine,_ ” he says it like a petulant child, but you can tell by his tone that he’s just messing around. The playful eye roll and goofy smile you find when you glance over your shoulder confirms it. He’s already pressing his phone to his ear.

You blow him a kiss (which he returns) before heading into the kitchen. You turn on the TV in the other room to distract yourself, but once you’re alone in the kitchen putting the coffee on and making breakfast you can’t help but start to worry once again. Did he not really mean the I love you? Did he not mean it _like that_? It’s possible, right? He was half asleep. It’s not like when you’re drunk and you don’t ever actually lie, right? How much _does_ he remember from last night?

 _You know you could just ask him about it,_ a voice in the back of your head says. But she’s an idiot so you ignore her. What does she know anyway?

What if he did mean it, but he just doesn’t remember saying it? What should you do then? Should you say it first? Like he never said it, like it’s the first time? Should you tell him he said it? And if so, when? Should you do it over breakfast? Tonight? In a week? God, why does this have to be so hard?

You try to shove the thoughts to some corner, deep in the darkest parts of your mind where you won’t think about them, but you just can’t. And it _must_ show on your face, in your body language, even when Sebastian comes out and tells you his step-dad is doing okay, his mom rested and sounds fine, even when he wraps his arms around you from behind while you cook and peppers your neck and shoulders in kisses.

It must show when you’re at the table eating with him while the stupid new version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire plays in the background. You know it must, because he keeps looking at you with that little crease in his brow. The one he gets when he’s worried, the one he gets when he has something he wants to say, but doesn’t want to say it.

It must show through the rest of your lazy Sunday together, as you shower and cuddle and read and watch TV. Through sandwiches for lunch and take out for dinner. It must show, because finally, as you’re settling in on the couch for a movie, he sighs a little.

“Babe,” he starts, just slightly frustrated, as he pulls back just enough to look at you, “I know something’s up.”

You shake your head even as you feel your face flushing. “No, Sebby, really, I’m fine,” you insist.

He raises his eyebrows in a way that has you turning pure scarlet and says, “I can tell you’re upset about something, and it’s upsetting me that you don’t feel like you can talk to me about it.” And that breaks your heart a little. Shit. “Was it my mom? Did I rush you into it? I’m sorry if you said yes just because I was freaking out and you felt like-“

“I didn’t feel like I had to,” you say, shaking your head. “It wasn’t your mom,” you promise. You let out a heavy sigh and let your eyelids drop as you rub at your forehead slowly.

“Then what is it?” he asks.

And when you open your eyes to look into his he looks so worried and genuine and sweet you just want to kiss him. And you can now, so you lean forward and do just that.

“How much do you remember about last night?” you ask quietly, your eyes searching his. “From after we got home.”

His brow twists up again, this time in confusion, and he purses his lips as he takes a moment to think. Finally he starts, “We came home and crawled into bed and you cuddled into my chest like I like…” he trails off to think some more. Then blushes a little and his eyes go wide. “Oh fuck,” he says quietly, “I totally just _dumped_ the whole fleeing Romania thing on you, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have told you like that, shit. I’m sorry. I can only imagine…”

You can’t help but raise your eyebrows a little. “That’s the last thing you remember?” you ask.

“Yeeeaaah,” he drags the word out. “Whyyyy? Is that not the last thing that happened?”

You blush again just at the thought and shake your head. “I wouldn’t be upset about you telling me that heavy stuff. I want you to feel like you can tell me stuff like that. And I meant what I said. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen.”

“Then what is it?” Sebastian asks, taking your hands in his. “What am I not remembering?”

You sigh heavily and mentally curse your heated cheeks as you look down at your laced fingers. You’re _not_ going to be able to look at him when you tell him.

“You, uh,” you start timidly, then swallow hard and go on, “Last night, you said… you said I love you for the first time.”

It’s Seb’s turn to blush now, you see it when you glance up at him. You can feel his heart racing from where your fingertips rest against his palms. Or maybe that’s your heart racing. Or maybe both.

“Oh…” he says finally, quietly, just barely above a whisper. “So… So I _did_ say that out loud then.”

Your heart skips a beat and your eyes go wide. “What?” is all you can manage to get out.

He looks up again and meets your eyes, this sad little smile on his face. “I say it in my head sometimes,” he admits. “Like when I want to say it out loud, to tell you, but I’m too scared. I say it in my head. So when you didn’t say it back, I thought I’d just said it in my head again.”

And your heart is simultaneously breaking a little and singing in your chest and you’re not sure if you want to cry or laugh or slap his silly ass for being afraid to tell you – _you,_ the queen of clinginess, the girl who’s been in love with him since you almost ran him over with your car – that he loves you.

The sound that actually leaves your mouth is some combination of a strangled sob and a laugh and you drop his hands to take his face in yours. “You silly, stupid boy,” you tease him lovingly, “the only reason I didn’t say it back was because I thought you were already asleep or delirious or something and that you didn’t mean it.”

Sebastian laughs and leans forward, pulling out of your light grip to press a kiss to your lips, hard and yet so sweet. “Of course I meant it,” he breathes, resting his forehead against yours. “Awake and asleep, in every version of reality.”

“Well,” you whisper around a breathy chuckle, “I guess that settles that then.”

“I guess so,” he replies with a smirk.

There's a beat of silence and then you ask, “Say it again?”

Seb laughs again at that, eyes crinkling up in the corners, and says, “Oh no! I said it first last time! Your turn!”

You blush and giggle and bat your lashes as you swat at his arm. “You're the worst!” you tease. He looks at you expectantly for a moment, trying desperately to not crack a smile, until you shyly mumble, “I love you Sebastian.”

“I love you too,” he replies, then pulls you into his lap and kisses you senseless.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! If you enjoyed please consider leaving kudos/a comment! It really means so much to me!<3
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](http://worrisomeme.tumblr.com) where I post a lot of little short stories that don't always make it here :)


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